Ireland may not have dedicated sex clubs or the fastest-growing swingers’ community – but ‘ethical non-monogamy’ is here to stay.

That's according to ‘Grey’, who was speaking to Lunchtime Live about Ireland's swinging community – where singles and partners in committed relationships engage sexually with others.

Grey has been a member of the swinging community since he was 19-years-old and has watched the swinging community grow and develop in the 19 years since.

"I had an older lady meet me in Copper Face Jacks one night and she took me under her wing," he said, "I was 19, she was 36 – it went from there.

"I'm a single male, I'm active in the scene."



The community
Grey said that in comparison to other European cities, Ireland has a small swinging community.

"I mean, if you think talk about the UK, it's quite massive in the UK," he said.

"There are many clubs and designated venues that you can go to in the UK to enjoy it – the same in Paris and Rome, Barcelona, all over Europe.

"We do have dedicated clubs, but there be more privately run [events] in private residences, so someone might hold a regular event, say once a month, maybe twice a month, but it would be in their private residence.

"There is anything from 18-years-old to, I mean, one of the oldest ladies I met was 75."

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Swinging is traditionally defined as couples swapping partners with other couples or consistently bringing other singles to bed.

If polyamory has entered its cultural adolescence, swinging is its elder cousin who has long outgrown the kids table at Thanksgiving. The swinger lifestyle is probably the most normalized form of non-monogamy with its own reality TV shows, all-inclusive resorts, and origin story lore that includes World War II Air Force pilots. And no, the upside-down pineapple thing was not a widespread supermarket swinger symbol, but, yes, at this point it’s become a cheeky, unofficial logo of the lifestyle.

So you and your partner want to be swingers? Here’s a beginner guide for curious couples!

What is swinging?

Swinging is traditionally defined as couples swapping partners with other couples or consistently bringing other singles ('thirds') to bed. Often, swingers seek what they call soft swaps and full swaps. Soft swaps are when you switch partners for sex acts except vaginal and anal penetration. Full swaps are when you go "all the way." Old school swingers would stress that partners are involved in the sex together, but there are many dynamics that include sending your significant other off to fuck other people and hearing about it when they come home.

A discerning characteristic no matter who you ask seems to be romantic exclusivity. Because of this "a lot of people in the swinger community can be judgmental [of polyamory,]" one polyamorist named Brian shared on an episode of my show, The Manwhore Podcast(opens in a new tab). "A lot of them just can’t imagine having feelings outside of their primary relationship."


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The swinging sex club is asking for lust-hungry members to bring donations of food to an orgy to raise supplies for a food bank, in return they'll get a discount on their swinging experience

Swingers are being asked to bring more than their meat and two veg to a raunchy group.

The sex club is asking for lust-hungry members to bring donations of food to an orgy to raise supplies for a food bank.

The charity event at the atlantisEVOLUTION costs £20 - with a £5 discount for couples who bring something for people to get their chops around.

Revellers attending the event later this summer are asked to bring three items from a list that includes cereal, soups, tinned meat, tinned veg, teabags, biscuits, sponge puddings and toiletries like shampoo and toothpaste.




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The swinger lifestyle is a fascinating alternative to traditional monogamous relationships. Many couples and individuals are drawn to this lifestyle for a variety of reasons, from spicing up their relationships to meeting new people and exploring their sexuality. This comprehensive guide will explore what it means to be a part of this unique community and how to navigate the various aspects of it. We will cover the history, benefits, and challenges, as well as tips for success and considerations before diving in.

A Brief History of Swinging
The Origins of Swinging
Swinging can be traced back to ancient civilizations, including the Roman Empire and ancient China. These societies were known for their liberal attitudes towards sexuality and embraced non-monogamous relationships. Swinging gained popularity in the 20th century, particularly during the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s.

Swinging in Modern Times
Today, the swinger community has evolved and expanded, fueled by the internet and social media platforms. Online forums, websites, and apps allow swingers to connect with like-minded people, share experiences, and arrange events.

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THREESOMES MAY GET all the mainstream glory when it comes to group sex, but why not add one more person to the mix? Yes, we’re talking about foursomes—a double-the-fun configuration traditionally reserved for porn, but becoming increasingly common in your average bedroom. The beauty of the foursome is that it leaves a little more room for creativity and opportunities for mutual pleasure than threesomes, but is more intimate than a full-on orgy. With two times the limbs (and genitalia), foursomes can be both exciting and intimidating at the same time. Fortunately, there are certain positions specifically designed for foursomes, which can help eliminate the guesswork and minimize any awkwardness.

We know what you’re thinking. How exactly does one go about making a foursome happen? There are lots of different approaches. If you’re in a relationship, you might seek out another swinging couple that’s equally eager to experiment—or two single folks who are down to play. (These are the best apps to meet other swingers, FYI.) And of course, sometimes a foursome is just a pile of four strangers—say, people who meet at a sex party—looking for a wild romp.

However you go about assembling your horny quartet, experts agree that foursomes require communication and careful consideration to ensure a comfortable, safe, and positive experience for all involved. Amber Shine, an ACS-certified sex therapist and manager at XFansHub, recommends having an open discussion beforehand about fantasies, concerns, and boundaries.

Does one person like receiving oral, but not giving? Does one couple feel comfortable touching and kissing the other people involved but not having penetrative sex with anyone outside of their relationship? Is anal out of the question for anyone? How does everyone feel about using lube, or bringing sex toys into the mix? These are the types of things you’ll want to get a handle on before you start tearing your clothes off. Renée Denyer, an award-winning manager and sex educator with Sh! Women’s Store, also suggests establishing a safe word that everyone can use when they need to press pause because something isn’t feeling right—particularly if you plan to engage in BDSM.

The logistics of foursomes can obviously get a little complicated, so it’s a good idea to keep things moving and take turns in different positions to make sure everyone has a chance to get off.

“It’s okay to break off into pairs when you’re in a foursome—you don’t have to all be in constant contact with one another,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., Resident Sexologist for ASTROGLIDE. “And of course, some people will opt to play as a threesome while the fourth watches or takes a break. Regardless of how many people you’re playing with, check in with one another regularly. A simple, ‘do you like this?’ or ‘you good?’ can be a good start.”

If your sexual philosophy is “the more the merrier,” read on for some fun positions that’ll make your next foursome nothing short of memorable.

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