We all know that safe sex is great sex.

If you want to protect against STIs and unwanted pregnancies, using a condom is the way to do it.

But, if you’ve got stamina between the sheets, it’s worth nothing that this safety net only lasts for so long.

It turns out that if you and your partner have penetrative sex lasting more than 30 minutes, you should replace the condom you’re using.

LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor GP, Dr Bhavini Shah said: ‘If you’ve been having sex for half an hour and aren’t ready to stop – change the condom.

‘Friction weakens the condom, increasing the chances of a tear. Under this time and you’re fine.

‘But if you’re over 30 minutes it’s best to play it safe. Although, obviously the amount of friction depends on how vigorous your intercourse is.’

Basically if you’re absolutely going for it, it’s worth taking a pit stop to switch to a new condom – just to be sure.


Dr Shah also adds that if you have a sex session that lasts for less than 30 minutes, and decide to go for round two, you can’t use the same rubber.

‘Don’t leave it on for another round of action,’ he says. ‘A condom is a strictly single use item.

‘Using it twice increases the chance of breakage and seeping. There’s a reason they sell condoms in multipacks.’

A seeping condom? No, thank you.


Double bagging
If all of this is stressing you out and you think double bagging is the solution (putting two condoms on at once) you’d also be wrong.

‘One at a time please,’ said Dr Shah. ‘Twice the condom does not equal twice the safety.

‘Wearing two condoms is actually riskier than just wearing one as they will rub against each other, creating potentially condom-breaking friction.

‘This also goes for wearing a male condom and your partner wearing a female condom at the same time.’


Getting it on
Yes, taking each other’s clothes of is a very fun thing to do, and when we’re in the moment, getting the condom out is something we want to do asap.

But don’t be overly eager. Dr Shah said: ‘Opening a condom packet is never easy. Though the less careful you are tearing the packet, the more likely you tear the condom as well.

‘Fingernails can also perforate condoms and using your teeth to aid in opening the packet can also cause tears.

‘While at times the packet might seem unbreakable, the condom most certainly isn’t. Take a deep breath, look for the right corner, and try again. Carefully!’


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If you and your partner like to open up the bedroom to a little outside fun, we’re not going to judge. Here are some of best countries where you may be able to spice up you love life.



France

France has always had a reputation for being a little more sexually adventurous than other places. Swinging couples should check out Cap d’agde. It’s a naturist village with a nude beach and quite a large influx of visitors looking to have a little fun.



Denmark

The Danes have a reputation for being a little too polite, but behind closed doors they like to spice things up. The country is home to some of the world’s largest swingers clubs.



Germany

Couples here are into swinging at a rate three times that of other countries in Europe and there are plenty of clubs at which to give it a try.



Amsterdam, Holland

The city is widely known for its relaxed look on sex and relationships so it should come as no surprise that there’s a swingers club around just about ever corner. Okay, that’s a small exaggeration, but you certainly won’t have a hard time finding one here.

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Whether you're a novice who's just feeling curious or a kinkfest regular, you'll find your perfect match with our guide to Berlin's best sex-positive parties.

Berlin has a well-earned reputation as a Mecca of sex-positive partying. There are numerous dedicated sex clubs and a whole host of sex parties. Navigating this world, especially as a newcomer, can be daunting. To help, we’ve compiled a guide to some of the main events – though we ask you to read up on the etiquette of these spaces before you go. Keep it safe, consensual and fun.


Klub Verboten For dedicated perverts

It might have started in London, but we know that Berlin is Klub Verboten’s spiritual home. Since coming here in 2021, Klub Verboten has quickly carved out its place as one the city’s best kink events. This self-described ‘pro-pervert’ party has a focus on fetish, BDSM and above all else, consent and safety.

They have a well-trained safeguarding team on hand to make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. Klub Verboten is perhaps better suited to more experienced perverts than first-timers, but everyone is welcome, so familiarise yourself with the excellent rules section on their website and make a date.


Four Play For the Loud and Proud

When this party started more than eight years ago, every single kink party was all-black everywhere. Four Play encouraged everyone to embrace colour in their outfits, and they can take a lot of credit for spreading this vibe to other parties. The parties are legendary too, with people in the scene regarding it as perhaps the premier party in the KitKatClub calendar.

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I thought it was me, but it was Low T.

What is Low T?

Low testosterone.

According to experts, when a man’s level of testosterone is low, it might lead to various symptoms, including reduced lean muscle mass, irritability, depression, erectile dysfunction, and low libido.

In our relationship, my husband has completely lost his sexual drive. I could walk by him buck naked and he wouldn’t even look up from his newspaper.

I thought for the longest time it was me. That he didn’t find me attractive anymore– or even worse– that he was having an affair.

So what’s a woman to do? Well, I don’t know how other women might handle this situation, but I tell you what I’m gonna do on my end:

Experiment

The most important thing I can do is be supportive. I remember that my husband was very supportive of me when I was taking certain medication that caused low sex drive.

Having low testosterone has been the clearest inside our bedroom. Rather than becoming frustrated with our circumstances, I will learn to be patient and try to experiment with my husband. Being intimate does not always translate into sex; therefore, we will try…

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What does it mean to ‘open up a marriage’ or to marry someone with an open marriage arrangement? How does open marriage work not only theoretically but in practice?

Wikipedia defines open marriage as “Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual or romantic relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relationship despite the implied monogamy of marriage. There are variant forms of open marriage such as swinging and polyamory, each with the partners having varying levels of input into their spouse’s activities.”

There are, of course, variant forms of open marriage. With each variant, the partners have varying input on their spouse’s activities.

Wikipedia also gives some historical context for the genesis of open marriage: “The term open marriage originated in sociology and anthropology. Through the 1960s, researchers used “closed marriage” to indicate the practices of communities and cultures where individuals were intended to marry based upon social conventions and proscriptions, and open marriage where individuals had the ability to make their own choice of spouse.”

“Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill changed the meaning of the term with the 1972 publication of their book Open Marriage. The O’Neills describe open marriage as a relationship in which each partner has room for personal growth and can individually develop outside friendships, rather than focus obsessively on their couplehood and their family unit (being “closed”). Most of the book describes approaches to revitalizing marriage in areas of trust, role flexibility, communication, identity, and equality. Chapter 16, entitled “Love Without Jealousy”, devoted 20 pages to the proposition that an open marriage might possibly include some forms of sexuality with other partners. Fueled by frequent appearances of the O’Neills on television and in magazine articles, the redefinition entered popular consciousness, and open marriage became a synonym for sexually non-monogamous marriage.”

In “Open Marriage and Marital Adjustment” by Dale Wachowiak and Hannelore Bragg, they suggest the ideals of open marriage are:

Here-and-now living combined with realistic expectations: There is a reduction of commitment to and sacrifice in the long-term goals.
Personal privacy: A greater respect for personal privacy than in a traditional marriage.
Open and honest communication: sharing, self-disclosure, and productive fighting.
Role flexibility: open partners exhibit this considerably.
Open companionship: avoiding traditional marriage assumptions of coupledness. This may involve the development of deep personal, sexual relationships with other members outside their marriage.
Equality: equality of power as well as responsibility.
Pursuit of identity: An individual’s uniqueness is valued, and differences are not seen as a threat.
Mutual trust: an assumption that everything is out in the open and that one’s partner is not a possession that is guarded.
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